“Enjoy But Don’t Inhale!”

by the Revd Canon Rosie Harper, Chaplain to the Bishop of Buckingham and Member of General Synod

Rosie Haarper

The past few weeks in the church where I work there have seen some of the largest numbers ever, and some of the lowest. What’s going on?

Remembrance Sunday was mega all round the country. We ran a variety of events across that week-end. They were all well attended, and it was standing room only at the service following the ceremony around the memorial. At the end of the day we had a quiet thoughtful evensong and 50 people attended. That is huge for a little village church. Then the bells rang out again (the third time that day) and we processed out into the dark to light the beacon. I was bowled over. Yet more crowds. People had walked up the hill in the dark to come to a very simple ceremony at a church they otherwise never go near.

The service for folk who have been bereaved called ‘Remembering with Love’ was also packed. When we manage to offer something that people actually want they pitch up.

I asked some of them why they had come. ‘It’s important to remember.’ ‘This year is particular we need to be here.’ ‘My Grandfather died in WW1’ ‘It’s a sign of respect.’ ‘We need to say thank you.’ Lots of very good reasons. Here’s the issue: their motivation was good and solid and human. These were all the sort of person who had depth and an instinct for values beyond their own personal story. But none of them said they were in church to worship God. None of them. Not even the  regular paid up church goers.

So were they worshipping? When the community got together to remember WW1 and all the sacrifice and the honour and the relief and pride that it all came to an end on 11.11.18  -were they doing something  secular in a church building, or was it worship? I believe that when you do something that comes from the depth of your humanity it can it be worship even when there is no deliberate religiosity about it.

One of the depressing aspects of Facebook is the snarky comments of the super religious. The colour of the advent candles, the exact vestments, the singing of carols before Christmas. All these and of course more profound issues are bickered over as if true worship can’t happen unless we get it all correct.

Maybe real worship can’t be conjured up at all. A bit like happiness, it is what falls out of being fully alive, of living in a connected loving, compassionate way that makes sense of being human. Maybe the unchurched pitching up at Remembrance Sunday were more in touch with God than the faithful few who work so hard to get their liturgy right in order to conjure up God. I’ve just read Anglican Mainstream’s response to the House of Bishop’s Pastoral Guidance for blessing transgender transitions. I struggle to discern even the faintest fragrance of God in what they say, and yet they are confident that they speak in his name

The same probably applies to ‘Mission’ We are running on old software. Our aim is still to get people to come and join the club, and we totally fail to recognise that most people have a pretty deep inner life and firm and good values. They just don’t articulate or express things in religious terms. My example would be the Christmas Tree Festival we held in church last weekend.  Again the church was full to bursting with folk who rarely come to services. There were multi layered conversations, lots of laughter, children having fun in the church rather than being told to be quiet. And yes, someone said; ‘This is what church means to me. All sorts of local people from our community getting together   -looking out for each other.’

That little festival felt pretty close to the way Jesus saw it   – they’ll know you  are Christians by the way you love one another. Surely mission falls out of loving one another and loving your local community?

On the whole the Church is moving in the opposite direction. It is looking for ever more ingenious ways of telling people their lives are shot without God. In a way that might be true, but the offer is always ‘you need MY type of God’ and it simply is never going to work. Think of the way things have changed in the world of shopping. In a very short space of time people have moved on-line. It is no good shouting at them telling them to get back to the High Street. Things have changed. It really is the same for church. It is not good shouting at people telling them they ought to come. The thing which we call a ‘Service’ is probably toast. Some of us love it, and in Cathedrals and the like it will survive as a supreme part of our culture. Most surely you can encounter God there. But it is mostly a social and cultural construct which now carries with it so much baggage that people look elsewhere for ‘a God moment’.

The baggage certainly makes it tricky for me. The class, the hierarchy, the bigotry, the language; it’s all neatly packaged and the good experiences when they come, happen despite that massive handicap. In a way what we actually do in church doesn’t matter that much. We have created some wonderful and some dire liturgies over the years. Surprisingly research shows that people are not that interested in what is taught either. Warm supportive relationships, in a context where power is used well and justice and equality are clearly the ground values, make for something worth striving for. The way that happens for the next generation is surely going to be very different. The  regular ‘service’ will probably continue but as a niche product.

At the moment that drive to define the church as a place for ‘true believers’ is very strong. The bar for belonging is getting higher. There is more emphasis on discipleship and on getting the fringe of the CofE drawn into the centre.

My personal experience is that I see more of Christ in people on the edges. Getting really keen on religion doesn’t seem to be very good for your character. Most of the in-fighting we are struggling with at the moment is amongst sincere but judgemental people who “know they are right”. Treading lightly, with a good dose of doubt and questioning and creating a holy space where you can just come along as yourself is healthy.

Religion is not the point but the pointer. We have to remember that most of it is a human construct, built with extraordinary creative imagination, but also with the desire for power for personal and political ends.   A lot of what we have inherited is glorious for people who like that sort of thing, but a wise friend of mine has a strategy: ‘enjoy but don’t inhale.’


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9 Responses to “Enjoy But Don’t Inhale!”

  1. Graham Holmes says:


  2. Emma Harris says:

    Jesus was far plainer than the Christmas Tree festival with all its baubles, lights and tinsel. Who minds ? All the congregation go to church for all sorts of reasons. Ask them at the door and they would run away. Part of the beauty of church is not the Spanish Inquisition but BELONGING. If you find friendship and participation in church won’t that do? It means church may have to provide lots of choice. So be it.

  3. Roger Antell says:

    It was Cardinal Basil Hume who used the expression ‘Enjoy… but don’t inhale.’

  4. Bob Edmonds says:

    At my parish church in Sheffield we have just had 8 carol services. Over 3000 people have attended. At each service the gospel was preached, explaining how the babe born at Christmas is the Saviour of the world. All were welcomed whatever their reason for attending. All were invited to join us on Christmas Day and to come back in the new year to learn more about becoming a Christian. As a church we are simply being faithful to the great commission to make disciples of Christ by humbly explaining the hope we have in a Risen Lord.

  5. John Bunyan says:

    How does Mr Edmonds know all these people were not “Christians” ? This attitude to the “unsaved” and “unconverted” is well intentioned but it can be really irritating ! In the Catechism
    I was taught that it was in Baptism “I was made a member of Christ, the child of God, and an inheritor of the kingdom of heaven”, There is truth in that though I rather think now that we are born as God’s children and that Baptism of infants can affirm that. And the Sacrament can – can – mark the beginning of a lifetime pilgrimage. But I would also ask, what do we mean by “Christian” ? Jesus was not a Christian but to the end a faithful and observant Jew – but perhaps anyone might be called a Christian who cares for God by caring for his or her neighbour, finding here and now thereby “eternal life” (S.Luke 10.25-28). Or one might see as truly Christian one who seeks, however haltingly, simply to follow Jesus (such as the Muslim writer Mustafa Akyol) or in the way of Jesus (the Jewish Geza Vermes or the Hindu Mahatma Gandhi). However if it means one who accepts Jesus as our saviour from the wrath of God and eternal damnation, or one who thinks Jesus is needed and is essential to save us from our sin, I am not a Christian and never will be. (Jesus himself in the story of the Prodigal showed that forgiveness did not depend on his death on the Cross, and the psalmists made that clear long before, for example in Psalm 103.) Visiting hospital patients every week in my retirement, I encounter many who do not attend church or who have given up attending church or are too old to attend church or who have never attended church, but not a few patients and staff are “Christian” to the extent that one sees in them the Spirit of Jesus, the Spirit that was seen in Jesus – in his life and healing and teaching and caring, the reason why I for one celebrate his birth. Of course, it is only slowly, by God’s grace, that we may become more truly “Christian” and I, like some of the rest of us, have still a long way to go. (S.Paul says something along those lines.)

    • Bob Edmonds says:

      No where in my response did I state that I knew that “all these people were not Christians”. I stated that all were invited. No one was prejudged or excluded or marginalised since the gospel is for all. Jesus likewise addressed the crowds in the same way. Some, such as a student from Thailand whom I talked with over refreshments after a service, were quite clear that they were not a Christian. Jesus is the Saviour of mankind, who was born as babe and who died on the cross. It is by God’s grace that we become more Christlike, more mature in Christ, as the Holy Spirit is at work in a Christian disciple. The starting point is repentance, as Jesus Himself said in Mark 1.15.

Any thoughts?